Bye Bye Billy

Well yesterday was a day I'd rather forget. We feed a group of black and white feral cats and have given them names. One of them, Billy, disappeared a few months back and we thought he'd probably died. But yesterday afternoon I heard a commotion by the woodshed and rushed there to find Gassie barking at a barely recognisable Billy. I got all the dogs inside and went back to help the poor thing. I have never ever seen an animal is this condition. One of his ears was completely covered with a huge tennis ball sized tumour, he was dirty, smelly and like a skeleton. I fed him, then took him straight to the vet. It's a sign of how weak he was that he let me pick him up as I had never been able to get near him before.

Massimiliano our vet took one look at him and hung his head in shock. 'Povera bestia' (poor creature) he said and I'm sure I saw a tear in his eye. We discussed what to do. He sedated Billy and examined the appalling ears crawling with maggots, and said amputation was the only possibility but he doubted there was enough ear left to close the wound. But first of all he needed to check if he had any diseases as that would affect his treatment and recovery. I agreed he should do the blood test and we'd take it from there. The test would take half a hour. I then went to get some sugar into my body in the form of a Fanta and a chocolate as I felt weak with shock, to be honest.

The results of the test were bad. He had feline AIDS. We decided that the kindest thing to do was to put him to sleep as he was clearly suffering so much. I had known all along really. I held Billy gently as Max administered the two injections and then his little heart stopped. Although I was crying by then, the feeling was of peace  – he looked relaxed and out of pain, but I was so sad.

I buried him this morning in our little pet cemetery and at least, although he had a short and not very happy life, I hope he died knowing that someone cared and will never forget him.

Bye bye Billy.